Healing Your Grieving Heart For Teens

My life was wonderful, never really had problem. All I know is smiling, laugh out loud, shopping, hang out, having fun... In a short words, typical teens life.
Till one sunny day in the middle of August 2003. Nice Saturday after shopping turn into worst day ever when I’ve got news that my boy friend passed away.
And it wasn't over yet, three days later my lovely cousin named Leny Gustin Laliep Kohongia had motorcycle accident in San Francisco, California. She can’t make it too.

I was shocked and confused since the last funeral I can remember was my grandpa's. And it was like 17 years ago, maybe more.
Oh My… What I’m gonna do? What is the certain attitude? Why this is happen to me? How come?
Thousand of questions suddenly attacked my mind and I can not answer it, not even one.

Family and friends were trying to help but it didn't work coz I couldn’t take anything. I was pretend to be strong but deep inside I blamed my self, paranoid, and wanna do nothing but hide. My life was completely out of control, I even thought it was over.

Actually it’s not; one book opened my eyes and helped me out of this confusing situation.
Book i'm talking about called “Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens: 100 Practical Ideas” or 100 Tips Menghapus Kesedihan Untuk Remaja in Bahasa Indonesia edition.

Thank you for teen-friendly book Dr. Wolfelt, it helped me through the worst moment of my life.
In my opinion, no doubt that Dr. Wolfelt is an expert for grief healing. He really knows what he is talking about, I even feel like he is one of grieving teens coz he describes well the feeling that I can only feel but can not describe.
The best part is he knows that the most annoying advise ever for grieving teen is “wake up and continue your life”. He gives better tips like don’t have to hurry if you are not ready; take your time to feel every emotions such as sad, anger, mourning; and how to deal with it in positive way.
I’ve been there so I know that he is right, I couldn't really continue my life if I’m not done with these natural steps.


From the Publisher in chapters.indigo.ca

In light of how difficult it is just to survive the teenage years, the grieving process can be especially difficult and overwhelming for teenagers. This journal affirms the grieving teen’s journey and offers gentle, healing guidance. In order to sort through their confusing feelings and thoughts, teens are prompted to explore simple, open-ended questions. Teens are encouraged to write what they miss about the person who died, the specific feelings that have been most difficult since the death, or the things they wish they had said to the person before they died.


Editorial Reviews in amazon.com

From School Library Journal
A book that is written in clear, user-friendly prose. Each page presents a different idea designed to help teens recognize mourning as a natural process connected with loss, reassuring them that they should not be afraid of deep, sometimes uncontrollable emotions, and showing them how to release grief in healthy, positive ways. Several suggestions appear under each heading; many of them encourage readers to express their feelings in a journal. The book has a comfortable tone to it, without taking away from the very definite need to deal with grief. It seems to work with, rather than talk at teens as they tackle the problem/solution process. A good first step toward admitting the need for and getting help.
(Kim Harris, Newman Riga Library, Churchville, NY, Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.)

From Booklist
When teenagers lose loved ones, they often feel confusion as well as heartache. Wolfelt, whose decades of experience in grief work with teens informs his ideas, offers 100 ways to facilitate grieving and come to terms with loss. Although the instinctual desire may be to push intense feelings away, Wolfelt encourages teens to attend the funeral, visit the gravesite, and even to seek out smells that call the loved one to mind. He also counsels teens to avoid "techno-escape," using television and the Web to keep from feeling the pain. For periodic perusal more than a straight read-through, this book offers practical and constructive tasks that will bring teens into contact with their feelings. A unique approach to an important subject, this will be a good companion to Earl Grollman's Straight Talk about Death for Teenagers (1993).
(John Green, Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved)


About Dr. Alan Wolfelt from centerforloss.com

Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D., C.T. is an internationally noted author, educator and grief counselor. He serves as Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition and is on the faculty at the University of Colorado Medical School's Department of Family Medicine.

Past recipient of the Association of Death Education and Counseling's Death Educator Award, Dr. Wolfelt is an educational consultant to hospices, hospitals, schools, universities, funeral homes and a variety of community agencies across North America. Perhaps best known for his model of "companioning" versus treating the bereaved, Alan is committed to helping people mourn well so they can live well and love well.

Also a respected author, Dr. Wolfelt writes the "Children and Grief" column for Bereavement magazine. His many bestselling books on grief are listed under Bookstore on this Website. He has appeared on, and is a frequent resource for the media. Appearances include Oprah Winfrey, The Larry King Show, The NBC Today Show and Nick News.

Dr. Wolfelt and his wife, Sue, a family physician, are parents to three children, Megan, Christopher and Jaimie. They live in the foothills of the beautiful Rocky Mountains next door to the Center for Loss in Fort Collins, Colorado.